When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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