Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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