I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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