Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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