I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
