If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
