I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
