She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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