so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
