Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize