i just google imaged poop.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
