you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
