Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
