you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
