ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
