what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
