I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
this hospital has no fireball
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
