You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
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Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
In other news, I just burned my penis
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SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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