I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
