Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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