Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
