East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i was born a porn star she said
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
