martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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