Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
