Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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