wat bout pragnant strippers??
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
