my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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