dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
