a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
God, I missed his penis.
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