I want to stick my p in your. b.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
