She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
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We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.