Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.