You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
