so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Randomize
