I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
