Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
