At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
