ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
