Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
