I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
