i jhust puked up my retainher.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
