i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
