I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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