i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
