He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
