I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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