Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
