Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
