is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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