Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
