you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
