She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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