i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
