Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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