We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
