And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
