He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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