yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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