New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
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I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
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you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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