Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
