whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize