you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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