I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
