It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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