After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize