Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
