areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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